Why I Refuse To Drive In This Town

I was getting breakfast ready for Matthew. I hear a fight coming in very loud and very clear from my kitchen window. The curiosity got the better of me, so I decided to open the patio door to see what the ruckus was all about. I look across the street and spot a woman. She's sitting on the curb, her little scooter is on the ground and the taxi driver is screaming and another scooter is sidelined. Obviously, the taxi driver hit the scooter and is now embroiled in an intense argument with the woman. Screaming, more screaming, some finger pointing and then a crowd starts to appear. Normal, typical day in Shanghai. The people who ride around on the scooters, mopeds and bicycles feel that they don't have to stop for any red lights. They just keep going. It's an incredible sight when you see it happening. I was in a taxi one time when a scooter cut in front of the taxi that had the green light. The taxi came to a screeching halt and the driver of the scooter, turned around and gave the taxi driver a dirty look. Unbelievable! The drivers of the scooters and bicycles, if they see a pedestrian, they will lean on their horns or they will scream "WEI" (which means "Hey") or they won't stop and they will MOW YOU DOWN.

I'm not kidding. Vehicles are allowed to make a right on red. Technically (on paper that is), the vehicles are supposed to stop at the cross walk first, see if any oncoming traffic is coming and then proceed. It's not enforced. Pedestrians in the crosswalk, extra bonus points if you can get them to stop dead in their tracks for you. Those who know me, know that I am the ultimate New Yorker. So, when the cars are coming, I tend to be a bit defiant and I will walk in front of the taxi or the car at a snail's pace. The driver will lean on his horn. I just shoot him a death defying look. I know, I am basically playing chicken with a two ton vehicle. I can't help myself.

Today's scene, happened at about 5:40 AM. It's still going on as I am writing this entry. The cops are now involved. The locals are screaming at one another. I am guessing from the scene- the two scooters tried to cut in front of the taxi. The taxi took one out and almost took the other one out. The one who got hit is screaming bloody murder. Her friend who missed getting hit is screaming on her friend's behalf as well. Oh, I guess I should let you know that you can operate an electrical scooter without a drivers license. If you drive a gas powered one, you need a driver's license. Go figure. The two that were sidelined were electric scooters. Meanwhile, there's more screaming. Some shoving and the police are just standing between the two watching. Are you kidding? The police aren't even attempting to stop any of the shoving and screaming. So, why are the police even involved?

Now you know why I refuse to drive in this town. Though I will admit, I can get pretty hot and heavy with my screaming. I am no match with the local Shanghainese. They can scream and they can rant. Mostly done in the local Shanghainese dialect. The minute they figure out I am a foreigner, it's going to be "Pay day to feed the village". I don't know what the process for insurance here is. In the States, you have an accident, you call the police, they come, they complete a report, you submit it to insurance and all is taken care here. Here, I've seen taxi's that have hit bicycles. There's screaming involved, the one who has gotten hit- the bicyclist will demand money. The taxi driver will take out a wad of cash from his wallet and then they're off. When it's two vehicles involved, I've seen the same thing. An exchange of cash and each goes off.

Don't think that'll work for me. I would pull out my license and it clearly states- US citizen. You can just imagine what would be going through people's minds. They would be screaming "Foreigner hit me." I'd have to deal with the sterotype that foreigners have deep pockets and would have to negotiate a fair settlement. No thank you. So, I won't be driving anytime soon in Shanghai. I will stick to the bus, trains, taxi and walking. Thank you very much.

We're Moving

It's official. We're moving out of our apartment in the downtown area to be closer to Matthew's school. He's going to be transferred from the Pudong campus to the Puxi campus effective August. The poor kid has had to endure a three hour commute (on a good day) for almost a year. We've had him on the transfer list since the day he started school. The school offered a seat to him in January. I decided it would be horrible to pull him out of the environment where he's made friends and adjusted. The school agreed to keep him on the transfer list. In March, we received official notification that he'll be transferred to the Puxi campus for the Fall semester.

So, though the school's on the same side of town where we live, the commute going to the Puxi campus can be just as bad. At a minimum, it will be an hour and a half each day. Tony thought it would be better if we moved further into the Puxi area to be closer to the school. We looked around and found an apartment at the Shanghai Racquet Club. The school is literally 10 minutes away by foot, 5 minutes by bus. Now, when Matthew wants to participate in the after school activities, he'll be home at a reasonable hour. Currently, he's participating in after school soccer. He doesn't get off the bus that drops off at a central location until 7pm. Take into account the commute back to home, dinner, homework and any studying for exams into the equation and you have a pretty good idea what a bad night it can turn into.

Matthew's very excited about the move. Compared to where we currently live, the new place is like Disney for kids. It's a full service compound with outdoor pool, tennis courts, basketball courts and tons of kids. Did I say kids? Yes. Where we currently live, is a small apartment building. Fifteen apartments in total. No kids. Well, there aren't any kids Matthew's age. The ones that are here are either toddlers or teenagers. When we were out on the house hunting trip, the minute we drove into the compound, we saw tons of kids all over the place. Matthew said "Ok- we're moving here." Wait a minute, we didn't even see the place yet. Nope. He was emphatic. All it took was to see the kids swarming by the tennis courts, basketball courts and the community club house. The community club house is a popular destination for the kids because there's a snack bar. We were told all the kids go to the snack bar after school to chat with their friends and hang out before they go home. It was nice to see the ammenities offered and it was a done deal for Matthew.

Every apartment we looked at, he automatically picked out his new room. Ok- let me clarify that. When we were looking at the apartments, he would claim the Master bedroom as his new room. We had to bring him back to Earth and tell him the Master Bedroom is off limits. He's lucky he's getting his own room (just kidding).

The new place is WAY OUT in the suburbs. It's in a newly developed area called the Minhang District. The Minhang District doesn't have a whole heck of a lot to offer. In fact, there is hardly anything there. The only selling point is it's very close to the American, British, Singapore, French, German and Korean schools. That's the only reason you find families out there. Other than that, you need to go into the downtown area for anything else. The new apartment offers a hourly shuttle bus service that goes into the downtown area. I can hop the shuttle bus into the downtown area and make my way around by foot, subway or taxi. It all depends on where I have to be and how much time I'd have before Matthew gets home from school. Tony's commute to the office will be much longer. As a parent, you do what's best for your children.

So, I got the call from Tony's company that the lease has been signed off. The movers will come over tomorrow afternoon to assess the packing needs and we'll be moving in less than three weeks. Things are falling into place.

We'll be moving into our new home on Thursday, May 17th. Matthew will have less than three weeks of commuting left. Which means, I'll have that much time to get the place settled before we leave for our trip back to the States.

Achievements

Hard to believe that we've been living in China almost a year. Tony's one year anniversary is just around the corner. A lot has happened to us this past year. I often think of all the milestones that we've managed to hit. I've managed to master the train system and am often riding it from the Puxi side of town over to the Pudong side of town. I walk around town quite a bit and have found the shortcuts to different areas and will often walk to the stores to pick things up. I know where to find the things that we need and can navigate my way through the bargaining system here. Most of all, I can actually communicate in Mandarin now. I can actually understand when people speak to me in Mandarin. I no longer get the "Shen me?" (which means "What?") look when I get into a taxi and can give directions when needed.

When we first arrived, Tony, Matthew and I really couldn't speak Mandarin at all. I recall a meeting with Matthew's Chinese language teacher and the conversations were completely in English peppered with spatterings of Cantonese. Fast forward nine months later, she gives me updates on Matthew's progress in Chinese class and it's conducted completely in Mandarin. I can respond to her and write notes to her in Chinese as well. Matthew is doing very well in Chinese. He can read the characters and translate the words into English. He can communicate when he wants to. He just tends to be lazy and rely on me.

Tony, on the other hand, has given up on the language completely. He's on the road so much, that it's a major chore to give up six hours on a weekend for the language classes. I think he took about eighteen hours of language. I have now inherited the balance of his lesson time. So, I've resume my language lessons. This time, I'm not being as aggressive as I was when I first arrived. In the beginning, I was in class eight hours a day, five days a week. It got to the point that I needed to give myself a break. I took off for four months and have recently resumed my lessons in March. Now, I am only scheduled for six hours a week over a three day period. Much better. I often convey some of the every day words to Tony to help him along. He tells me "Why do I need to learn it? I have you with me." True, although I must say, if something would ever happen to me, he would just turn to Matthew and have him translate.

We've adapted to life in Shanghai. I must admit, this town has grown on me. I get a great sense of accomplishment when I read the bus signs and figure out the destinations. I know which buses to hop on in order to get across town. Tony's mortified that I take the bus. First, let me tell you that I don't mind riding the bus. Hey, it's cheap. Really cheap. 2RMB (which is $.25) and I can get all over the place. Taking the bus has actually allowed me to see parts of the town that I would never have an opportunity to come across. I'm on the bus with all the locals. So, as they say in New York, I'm hanging out with my "peeps!"

One year has practically flown by. I've managed to get around, not get arrested for voicing my opinion and can communicate. I say that's a major achievement!

Terra Cotta Warrior Dig

Matthew's school sponsored a Terra Cotta Warrior Dig. The fourth graders are learning about the different Chinese Dynasties. I am ashamed to say that Matthew knows more about the Chinese dynasties than I do. He explained to me that Shihuangdi, the first emperor from China was buried with over 7,000 soliders to guard him on his way to Heaven. The warriors are life size and each has a different expression. No two look alike. The warriors are actual clay versions of the real person. Many of the warriors carry real weapons and the tomb was booby trapped to deter robbers. If you made your way into the tomb, there was no way you would make it out. The tomb was found in Xi'an, China in 1974 and is a major tourist attraction.



The kids from the first and second grades painted the terra cotta warriors and kids from the third grade got to break the warriors. It was then buried in dirt and the fourth graders had to be the archaelogists and dig for it. It was very exciting for the kids. Everyone got dirty. I got to supervise a group of kids and subsequently got burned with the hot glue gun. I wasn't the only casualty, I took about three kids with me. It was nice to watch the kids as they would run to the table. They would brush off the dirt off their piece and try to piece it together. At one point, two girls were brushing Matthew off as if he were a "find."

So, I'll need to read up on all the different Chinese dynasties. It's not a good thing when your kid knows more than you.

Soccer Day

Well, we spent the day on the soccer field. It was Soccer Day. All the international schools participate in this event. Each grade level gets a designated week. Today, it was the fourth grade tournament. All the kids meet on the soccer field and compete against one another. The weather was absolutely gorgeous today. I got to hang out on the sidelines and cheer the team with the other moms. Pizza and drinks were delivered. You can imagine what it's like to have very hungry fourth graders trample towards you. I felt like the image of the steak in the "Bugs Bunny" cartoon with the two shipwrecked people on the island. Bugs Bunny was the "steak". That's what I felt like when the kids were pawing at me to pass out the pizza. The pizza went faster than anyone can imagine. The kids were fueled up and ready to go again.

Some of the kids got hurt during the game. It's a part of the process. You can't avoid it. Some kids were hobbling off to the sidelines to sit out for a few minutes. They were raring to go again once they felt a little better. It's funny with the sport. You learn good sportsmanship. Some teams, which shall remain nameless, exhibited horrible sportsmanship. Cursing and name calling would be heard. I wasn't the only mother who heard it. The kids from Matthew's school were complaining about how the other teams would get upset and curse at them. The teachers and parents present had to tell them that you have to ignore that type of behavior. Although, I must say, it wasn't just the kids who would be cursing when a goal wasn't scored. The parents from the other schools would do the same. This takes the sport to a whole different level. The purpose of the game is to play and have fun. Some people just take the game way too seriously.

After spending several long hours on the field, the games were over. The teams congratulated one another. We piled into the school bus and we were on our way back to school. Matthew had after school soccer as well. I gave him the choice to leave and go home. He wanted to stay for the after school soccer. SOOOO, I got to sit on the sidelines again and watch another round of soccer. This time, it was kids from his school. No cursing, no yelling, no name calling. It was much more civilized.

Mrs. Deborah

Mrs. Deborah is a former colleague of mine from International Paper. Often times, Matthew would often make special guest appearances at the office and I would always find him sitting in Deborah's office chatting with her for a long time. She's in town for business and we got to spend some time with her. She arrived into Shanghai late Saturday night and we arranged to see her on Sunday at noon. We had to give her time to adjust to the time difference. Matthew of course, had a difficult time understanding why she would need time to adjust. Ok- he hasn't figured out that we don't have the energy or the stamina of a 10 year old anymore. It takes me about 1 week to get over jet lag.

We arrived to pick Deborah up at her hotel. Matthew was very happy to see Deborah. We decide on the itinerary for the day and off we went. We took her over to the Jin Mao Tower for a view of Shanghai. Unfortunately, it was pretty hazy that day. We headed over to the Shanghai Science and Technology Museum. Matthew was leading the tour through the museum. I'm not exactly sure if she really got to see anything. While at the museum, we were at the human body exhibit. It's a 3D ride. We hopped into a car shaped like a melon and entered through the mouth. We got to experience what happens to food in the digestive system. So, if we entered through the mouth....you know where we exited from right? After that experience, we took Deborah over to the Bund and then had dinner at The Door. Diane Staab, another colleague from International Paper joined us for dinner.

I spent Monday with Deborah at the Shanghai Museum. She took a hair raising cab ride from Pudong to meet me at the museum which is on the Puxi side of town. Let's just say- she understands why I refuse to drive in Shanghai.

We toured the museum and then headed over to Xintiandi to get lunch. We had a classic Cantonese Dim Sum lunch where I must admit- I went a tad bit overboard when I ordered. She said we had two waiters running back and forth for us and that people were staring at us since they couldn't believe two women could polish off all that food. Ok- if you know me, you know that eating is a very serious thing for me. I can't help it if I enjoy good food and like to share it with my friends. After lunch, we made a pit stop at Haggen Daz. Then off we went to shop for pearls. Who can leave Shanghai without doing a little bit of shopping right?

Matthew returned home from school and Deborah joined us for dinner. Of course, it was something simple. Roasted chicken with risotto. Ok- so it wasn't Chinese. Then again, she'll be eating Chinese for a few more days before she leaves for Singapore. She'll have enough of Chinese. I figured a home cooked meal of a roasted chicken is something that anyone will enjoy. While I was preparing dinner, Deborah sat with Matthew and helped him with his homework. Thanks Deborah!

Unfortunately, because we really overdid it at lunch, Deborah and I couldn't eat each much for dinner. So, Matthew will be taking leftovers for lunch tomorrow. What kid can say that he has risotto for lunch? The school menu certainly doesn't offer that.

We were happy to have this reunion with Deborah. Matthew's counting down the days when we're returning to the States and we'll see our friends and family. He's only got another 7 weeks of school left. Who's counting right?